Sharing marital roles can become a source of conflict in your marriage, especially if you fail to address the issue the in right way. The success in sharing marital roles fairly between you and your spouse is based on how well you are able to define and embrace these roles. Below are some essential tips that can help you share marital roles effectively.
Sharing roles in an ambiguous manner is one of the key issues that cause conflict in a marriage. For example, ambiguous role-sharing guidelines that do not explicitly say what each spouse is expected to do are a source of major conflict. For instance, conflict can arise if some tasks are neglected because it's not clear who should do them and neither one of you is willing to take care of those tasks.
To avoid ambiguity when defining and dividing marital roles, you may want to write down the roles one by one. Start with the most crucial roles and responsibilities, especially the ones that must be taken care of every day and are sensitive to the wellbeing of the family. After that define the how, when, what, and who of every task to avoid confusion, advises Cara Plett.
Discussing the expectations each spouse holds when it comes to sharing marital roles helps clear up misunderstandings. Some expectations on how people should share chores in marriage can be helpful, whereas other expectations can be destructive. For instance, the expectation that roles should be divided equally may not turn out to be fair if only one person is working.
It's highly recommended that you discuss the expectations you have with regard to sharing marital roles early in your marriage, advises Taryn Hillin. Also, listen to the expectations of your spouse. After discussing each other's expectations, you will be able to understand one another better and you can then agree on how to share roles fairly.
Consider Your Strengths
When sharing marital roles, it's crucial to consider the strengths of each spouse, so that you can lessen the burden for one another. Role sharing will also be more satisfactory in your marriage if each person gets roles that fall under their strengths.
Write down the roles and responsibilities that have to be shared. After that discuss and list each other's strengths and then match up the roles to the strengths listed. Afterwards agree on how to divide any responsibilities not allocated to either one of you. However, if you can't decide on who gets to take care of what, it's best to seek assistance from a marriage counsellor.
Sharing marital roles doesn't have to be a troublesome issue that causes conflict in your marriage. The tips above can help you share roles and responsibilities in your marriage easily and fairly.